breaking through barriers: My Journey to Crossing the Finish Line
Have you ever started on a fitness kick, only to have it not stick a few weeks later? Starting back at zero, feeling more frustrated than when you began. Continually playing a story in your mind, perhaps “I will never lose this weight.” Or “something is wrong with me.” You are not alone! Within our coaching programs, we take a different approach to helping our clients achieve their goals. Rather than prescribe fitness plans right off the bat. We first start to work internally. The reason we do this is because we know that our mindset and the self limiting beliefs we create, must be addressed in order to build a strong foundation from which to redesign your life. This is my story of how I was able to change my mindset in order to break free from a self limiting belief I allowed to hold me back since my youth.
Growing up, I was never the “athletic one.” I danced and was active but sports were never really my thing. Throughout my life, I allowed this story to become my reality that would ultimately shape my identity. For example, I would compete in Track because all of my friends were doing it. I looked at all of them longingly because these sports seemed to come easy to them. I remember coming in dead last almost every race and it crushed my confidence. After that, I really stopped trying to push myself physically in anything other than dance. I always admired other girls who were competitive and good at numerous sports, but I just didn’t see that as a possibility for myself. At the time, I didn’t have the awareness that I was creating self limiting beliefs that led me to close doors on myself. Now looking back I realize, the only thing separating me from those other kids, was the self confidence to show up and really try.
For my 31st birthday, I decided enough was enough. I was ready to challenge myself and take on this archaic self limiting belief and do something that would prove to myself once and for all… I am an athlete. Furthermore, my body is capable, if my mind is willing. Thus, I enrolled in my very first Triathlon. When I originally signed up, it was a spur of the moment decision, it’s been on my bucket list and I have always admired triathletes. I decided I was tired of waiting on the sidelines of life and watching others do these incredible feats.
At the time of signing up I was living in Bali, Indonesia. I had never really tried to swim “freestyle”, I had never even watched a competitive swimming event. I had never rode a racing bike and to be honest, the last bike I owned… I crashed it into a parked car when I was 10 and never really rode much since. Needless to say, I really had my work cut out for me.
My first task was to hire a swimming coach. I turned to Facebook community forums and found a coach who I absolutely loved. I will never forget my first session when this spunky 20 something year old Indonesian told me to jump into the pool and just swim. I began swimming like I had seen in movies and after about the first 4 minutes I quickly switched back to my normal froggy breaststroke. Completely exhausted and seriously reconsidering my decision to take this feat on. However, when I came up gasping for air, she merely replied “I got you.”
From there my days became filled with training. I trained 6 days a week, with many “brick” sessions in which I would train multiple events a day. After I eventually bought myself my first racing bike (for a painful $500 USD, which I am told was a great deal). I began waking up at 4:30/ 5 AM to ride the streets of Bali at a rare hour when traffic was limited and life was calm. Those were some of the most peaceful mornings that I had to myself, aside from occasionally getting lost among the idyllic Bali rice fields. Then I would head to the pool to swim with my coach or head to the gym to run. My body responded surprisingly well moving from a weightlifting regimen to this new cardio heavy schedule. I did have some days when my legs felt like lead pipes, especially when practicing my brick sessions. There were days, my alarm went off in the dark of the morning and I didn’t want to get out of bed. Days when I was so tired that I felt like I was swimming through jello and my lungs were on fire as I pushed my body in ways it had never been trained before. However, I reminded myself, that this was a gift to my younger self who believed that she wasn’t an athlete. I just kept telling myself this mantra “You are an athlete.” This inspired me to keep going and to take the actions that an athlete would take. To show up, to push harder, to believe in myself. I started to transform my reality. Through each action I made within these 2 months of training, I recognized that I had transformed not only my body but my mind to that of an athlete.
The race was held in Thailand, which required me to ship my bike and would mean that I would not have the support of my coach to walk me through the process. I was so filled with excitement and anticipation. Looking around at the crowds I started to feel that old self limiting belief creep back into my mind. Everyone I looked at was incredibly fit, they had all of the newest high tech gear. However, I shook it off and joined the crowd. I started meeting people that were just like me, new to the sport and nervous. Then I started talking to the pro’s who offered sage words of wisdom and I started to recognize myself as one of the pack. If for no other reason then I had the confidence to show up just like they did.
When that horn blew and it was my wave, I remember my hands were shaking. It was the type of nervousness energy I used to have as a dancer before stepping on stage. I realized how much I missed this rush of adrenaline and the thrill of all of your hard work coming to the culmination of this one point. The first event was my biggest obstacle which was swimming. Jumping into that murky Thailand lagoon water was terrifying. I remember seeing just brown water and then all of a sudden a foot would pop out of nowhere. I would pass them and then another. At first I was scared, however then I realized… This was happening because I was passing people left and right. I was not only in my first triathlon. I was competing! I ran out of that water with such a rush of energy and got to my bike. As I began the steep inclines that make this course famous as being brutal, I had a smile on my face. I was looking around the beautiful scenery and was able to enjoy the moment. I thought of myself as that young girl defeated as everyone passed her in track and I smiled. Even though it may have taken 20 plus years. I did not give up. I came back to prove to myself, that I can do it and excel.
I would not say that the course was easy for me, however I was pleasantly surprised that all of my hard work paid off and I was able to enjoy the race. My body was ready and my mind was in alignment. I finished the race 11th out of 61 in my race category. My goal was to finish the triathlon sprint in under 2 hours and just not be last. When I crossed the finish line and saw I came in at 1 hour and 35 mins I burst into tears of happiness. I did it! I broke down the barriers of a self limiting story I had allowed to define me. I pushed myself to become that person I always admired, I am proud to say without a doubt I am an athlete and I was one all along. What self limiting belief are you ready to break up with?