As the infamous adage goes, it takes 21 days to form or break a habit. While in actuality results will vary from person to person, the wisdom stands that holding yourself accountable to something for a definitive time frame allows you to set attainable goals and reflect on the results. I am the first to admit that the regular grind can be all consuming. Between work, gym, socializing, and that darn ever expanding to-do list, setting additional goals can seem daunting. Even simple things like drinking more water, setting your alarm 15 mins earlier to meditate, or reducing white sugar intake can sound great at the start but are hard to maintain. However, if you are spending even a fraction of your day wishing there were things about your life you could change, you owe it to yourself to try and address that. When I was in the midst of my 9-5 grind, living life in the fastlane, I often found myself losing patience very quickly. What was worst, was that I often found myself losing my patience with those I care for and love the most. Why could I have seemling infinite patience for everyone else, but when it came to being at home with loved ones I would find myself so frustrated? Have you ever called a parent or family member, really missing them, wanting to catch up and see how they were doing, only to find yourself annoyed while speaking with them? I know that makes me sounds like a terrible person, but I bet most of you know what I am talking about. I was spending all of my energy on others, while not leaving any at the end of the day to take care of myself and those I care about most. I knew this was something that I was ashamed of and I wanted to change. So I made a goal of setting aside time to meditate daily. Sounds easy enough, right? How hard can it be to find 15-20 minutes to yourself everyday? As someone who is a frequent goal setter, from training for a half marathon, to graduating from college with the highest honors, I can say this was one of the most difficult challenges I have ever set. While Yoga, which includes practicing meditation, has always been a part of my life, this was the first time I took a pragmatic approach to addressing my character and my emotions. I had to find a way to stop letting external factors dictate how my day went and how I reacted. I knew joy and peace had to come from within. 

My goal was simple, meditate every morning for 20 minutes for 21 days. The following is what I gained from my investment of 420 minutes, or 7 hours, in a little less than a month. I am not going to lie, at first it was tough. I was naive and believed that I was far enough along in my spiritual journey that sitting alone with my thoughts for 20 minutes would be easy. However, what I came to realize was how noisy my mind was. I would get through a solid five minutes and find myself squinting one eye open to see how much time had passed. Closing my eye once more I would admonish myself for being so impatient and my thoughts would then start to spiral out of control... what do I have to do today? What am I going to wear to work? I can’t wait for the weekend,  I can’t wait for this to be over, wow my back hurts, I wonder if that’s a sign I am getting older, I am so excited for my birthday! Holy cow, when I really started to pay attention to my thoughts I noticed two things: 1) I may have ADHD. 2) I am constantly living in another time, consumed by thoughts about my past and my future, living in a strange alternate reality that I completely made up. What started out as a small project to get control of my emotions opened a Pandora’s box of listening to what I was telling myself and how my unchecked thoughts were impacting my reality. 

As the first week ended, my revelations kept coming. It came to a point where I not only started to pay more attention to my thoughts during my meditation sessions, I also started to be more aware of my thoughts throughout the day. I noticed how negative I was at times, especially toward myself. I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and think, wow you look horrible! Or I would eat something and feel guilty. Who were these thoughts serving?! Certainly not me, and in a day filled with deadlines, issues at work, traffic, and a number of other roadblocks to my happiness, who needs that? I also noticed my emotions and what could trigger a bad mood. While I used to think it was external factors that were to blame for why I lost my temper with my loved ones or lacked patience, I realized that it was actually how I was perceiving situations and letting them impact me. I really started to practice a mantra of “step back, breathe, is this worth my peace?”  When I started to seperate myself from the situations, I was able to gain a peace of mind that extended beyond my meditation practice to serve me in my day to day life. By weeks 2 and 3 of my morning practice I noticed how much easier it was to quiet my mind. The chatter started to subside quicker and my body was more accustomed to sitting. By having the habit starting to build in my muscles, my body cooperated with me easier. Now as thoughts came (as they do), I was able to let them pass through me without judgement and frustration. My ability to tell myself that it was okay to be in the present moment and let everything else go gave me the ability to find a state of calmness. 

Though I think I am far from spiritual enlightenment and I feel I will always be learning, I can honestly say this was one of the best exercises I ever did for myself. While I do miss days from time to time, I really attempt to hold myself accountable to waking up a little early every morning so I can set my intentions, note what I am grateful for in my life and, meditate. For me it is a time to hit the reset button and start each day fresh. I remind myself who I am and who I want to be. I am much happier in my relationships with my friends and family. I am kinder to myself and I feel that any goal is much more attainable now that I feel a greater connection between my mind and body.  When those two imperative elements of yourself are working in harmony, I truly believe there is nothing you can’t accomplish. I hope this serves as some inspiration for you and your goals. If you do try and implement meditation into your daily life (which I highly recommend) my best advice is don’t give up! It will be frustrating and hard at times, but you are worth it!